We didn't usually celebrate Christmas in the early days on the farm community where us girls grew up. We didn't have a tree or lights or exchange gifts on Christmas morning. I remember being fascinated with Christmas and spending hours looking at the Sears Christmas Wish Book, or reading cookbooks to find recipes and pictures for Christmas cookies and desserts. Of all the traditional Christmas things, the one I remember really loving was the lights. I can vividly remember driving home in the dark after church and looking out the frosty window of the farm van at Christmas lights on the houses along the dark trans-Canada highway I especially remember the houses at the OPP station would always have coloured lights lining the roof. I loved those lights and to this day, the sight of those bigger-sized, old-fashioned, coloured lights brings an ache of nostalgia to my heart.
I think partly because of that, I love Christmas... I love the lights, the music, the food. I love all the Christmas movies. I love baking and decorating Christmas cookies and I never feel like it's a chore to make turkey dinner. I even love the proverbially despised cranberry jelly. I love Christmas way more than is normal for someone my age. And yes, I am aware that it was originally a pagan holiday, incorporated into Christianity in an attempt to unite the church under Constantine or whatever, and yes, I am quite aware that most religious scholars believe Jesus was born in the spring...and I definitely know that Christmas has become commercialized and any true meaning is hard to spot in the plethora of advertising for gadgets, toys and food...and yet, I still love it and I look forward to it all year.
So, when some issues came up with my family this year, I found myself struggling with the feeling that Christmas wouldn't be the same. Okay, fine...I will be honest...I was really enraged with the situation and felt like Christmas was ruined. I even said as much. Several times. And I felt like it didn't make any sense to put up lights and garlands and hang stockings when Christmas didn't feel merry and bright. And then I realized that just about everyone I know is dealing with something this year...stressful and unexpected family issues or health concerns or work challenges. And then gradually the thought came to me...isn't the fact that so many of us are struggling right now, or are sad right now or facing serious health issues an even more important reason to celebrate Christmas??
Because after all, Christmas is about HOPE.
Not the joy and good cheer, although they are wonderful;
Not the peace and goodwill, although they are a big part of the season.
No, to me, Christmas has always been about Hope.
It's the hope that shines in children's eyes on Christmas Eve, knowing that when they wake up in the morning, they will have presents...it's the hope that the Elf will move every single day of December, for anyone unfortunate enough to have instituted that tradition...it's the hope that we will all be together again next year. It's the hope we all have for happiness, for family, for a better year next year.
The hope that if we each shine our light, our one small candle...we can push back the darkness.
So that's why to me, it's even more important to put up the lights and play the music this year...to be defiantly hopeful in the darkness. To look for the Christmas Star. And to feel the thrill of hope.
And that's really why I love Christmas.
Sincerely,
Sarah
