New Year Thoughts

 A New Year: 

Just those words hold so much promise. 

They seem to sparkle with hope for better things…a better life, a better you,...or at least, not as bad as last year!  The New Year has come to be seen as a time for fresh starts, for making lasting changes, for reorganizing, for decluttering and for getting rid of old things. 

This year though, my thoughts at New Year have been more on what is old that should be kept.  What old things should be treasured.  What old ways should be maintained.

I suppose I started thinking about this some weeks ago, when I was out shopping with my oldest grandson.  We had just bought some winter boots for him which I was carrying as we walked out of the store…along with my purse, keys, gloves, and phone.  He nonchalantly walked out ahead of me and let the door swing back in my face. When I asked him in a soft, sweet grandmotherly voice why on EARTH he hadn't held the door for me, he just looked at me confused.  And I realized in that instant as I heard myself lecturing him about holding the door that I had become my grandmother…seriously, I am her.  Just lacking the beautiful white hair, but in every other aspect, exactly the same. (Honestly, I could do a lot worse) 

But all joking aside, I realized that holding the door for someone is becoming a lost gesture.  Along with many other things that used to be common place in our society.

Granted, some things needed to be lost…Stereotypes and gender roles for example. But there are some "old-fashioned" things that I think we have been too quick to put aside…or have allowed to fall away.  I think in our efforts to be progressive, we have started to lose the little niceties that used to be sprinkled through our interactions with one another. 

To be very clear,  I don't expect someone to hold a door for me because I'm a woman.  Or because I'm older.  Or because I might have my hands full.  I expect it because I am a person.  Another human being.  And I will hold the door for people behind me for the same reason…to acknowledge their existence…to show that I see them and that as a human being, they have value.  And it might be a simplistic approach to think that some old-fashioned mannerisms can help forestall humanities descent into darkness and depravity, but I think it can. 

Hold the door, say please and thank you, smile, say good morning or wave to your neighbours. 

These small gestures and interactions showing acknowledgement, respect and value to another person, showing kindness and consideration, are like the hand lotion of humanity, smoothing away the roughness and keeping us from really irritating one another,  I don't think it's exaggerating to say that we are in danger of losing that “milk of human kindness.”

Partly,  this is due to the greater use of technology…I mean, you can order your takeout food, your groceries, prescriptions, practically anything you need…delivered to your door step without having to interact with any other person.  As a person with introvert inclinations, I totally love this about technology; however, as a person, as a human being, I also recognize that this is not healthy.  That this is, in fact, dangerous.  Because it can start to change how you view other people and the worth you place on another human being…and once you can start considering someone not needed, not important…worth less or devalued…it changes how you treat them.  And it also changes what you will tolerate.  We don't have to look too far back in our history books to see what happens after that.

Okay, so that went to a bit darker place than I was intending, but I think we can all acknowledge that this happens…is happening…all around us.  (Also I have once again proved my point about becoming my Grandmother…she was a teacher and could turn anything into a history lesson.  Oops!)

Back to my original point…as you consider the New Year and whatever changes or improvements you hope to realize, maybe just take a minute to consider whether there is anything you shouldn't change.  Maybe there's a tradition you keep up every Christmas…for example, my sister Hannah still sends out Christmas cards.  Handwritten.  In the mail.  (Sometimes to the wrong address and you don't receive it for eighteen months, but nevertheless, it`s nice when you finally get it, because you know she thought of you specifically.)  Or maybe there's something you do in person, even though it's not necessary…like meeting friends to play a board game which you could technically play online.  It could even be the simplest of things, like waving to the neighbourhood kids when they get off the school bus. 

Whatever it is, no matter how insignificant seeming, hold on to those old-fashioned gestures.  They are what keep us human…they are what make you who you are...and they are what keep the lantern lights of kindness shining. 

Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts and Happy New Year to Everyone!

Sincerely, 

Sarah